“Things and I”
12th January 2023
“Things and I”
I found a letter addressed to me in a place that once was a house but already became a museum. The envelope was torn on top. All I could do was stare at it and take a photo. It was a museum with a “Don’t touch” policy. There were other people walking around and other things lying beside my letter.
A plate fell down on the kitchen floor. It didn’t slip out of my hands. I didn’t think about the consequences of covering a meal in a bowl with this small plate. I didn’t use both hands to hold the construction so it fell apart. Good that nobody was at home and the dog wasn’t hurt. I cleaned the mess, but the broken plate wasn’t in tiny pieces. One part was very big, almost like the whole thing. It was still usable, so I couldn’t throw it away. I put it on my desk instead.
I destroyed something that wasn’t mine. I told my housemates that I made damage. They were fine, without any feeling for that plate. But it was still resting on my desk next to the heather in a pot. Small flowers were coming down. Two fell on the plate. Later I put cookies on it, so the crumbles were left. I put on a teabag and a stain appeared. When you look closer, you can also notice dust.
A few days after I moved in, their washing machine broke. We couldn’t make laundry and a lot of effort needed to be made to solve the problem. My housemate took a day off. Not long after the machine recovered, the dishwasher stopped working. We had to wash our dishes by hand. Despite trying, nothing could be done to fix it. They claimed to not have the money to buy another one but yet they did. I was joking that maybe I have to move out before another thing breaks. Eventually, it did - a tap in the bathroom, not long after I moved out.
I was becoming more attached to the plate. But I wasn’t sure if I am the owner. It should be thrown away. I took it for a walk. We were outside so the crumbles flew away. The flowers were gone. The stain and the dust left on top. You could see they are still attached to the plate.
I took photos of my plate. Maybe I destroyed it for this purpose - to own it. I don’t have any plates and they have even more. I always wanted to have some of their kitchen plot.
My phone is my good friend. We can’t live without each other. He always assists me in my daily tasks. Something goes wrong every time we split for longer. Although one day keeping thousands of photos on him became too overwhelming. It made me like him less, so I started using an analog camera. Everything became more difficult and more expensive. I had to carry it and it was not easy anymore to take a photo unnoticeably.
Sometimes the camera doesn’t want to cooperate. It can break because of the temperature. I can make a stupid mistake when putting up the film roll. I have to be prepared to lose.
I wanted to reproduce the plate. I made one from clay but it wasn’t perfect. It was very different from the original one. I knew I am unable to do it by hand. I decided to work with a printer. I scanned my plate and it appeared on a computer. After one day I had the same plate from plastic. The break was there in the same shape although plastic never breaks like this.
When I was a teenager, my cousin and his wife went to a dinner party with some distant relatives. They were all young married couples in their early thirties. I remember they told me that one woman was like me. She called all her home equipment by name. Although I don’t call my equipment by name, I could tell why they put us in the same group. I also remember feeling relieved.
When I was a child, winter was my favourite season. I loved to play in the snow. I was told that adults don’t like it because it’s difficult to drive a car. When I started to do it myself - exactly as they said - I stopped loving winter.
My dad was very angry when I sold my old phone so cheap, but I sold it to Zuzia. Unfortunately, I don’t know who Zuzia is or if she really exists. I actually sold it to her dad, and it was supposed to be a present for her. She wanted to have an iPhone like other girls do, but her parents didn’t have money for it. I don’t remember if the dad told me this or if I made it up myself. Anyway, I was intensively using my phone for four years, and it was in the worst condition when I packed it in bubble wrap and shipped it to Zuzia. If I didn’t do it, it would be just placed in the drawer where my parents store all the old electronics. Nobody would use it again. And I couldn’t accept selling it for more money to some guy who would just take it apart to reuse the working pieces. I had a close relationship with my phone so I wanted him to have a better future. I am okay with my new phone, but I miss the old one sometimes. Now I can think that it’s still having fun with Zuzia.
It was snowing for the whole weekend without any break. It started on Saturday morning and stopped on Sunday evening. I went for a long walk and I was delighted. Actually, I don’t remember feeling so safe and happy since the moment I came to Sweden. Unfortunately, my roommates were gloomy and annoyed this whole time. They were worried about how they would go to work on Monday. I was glad I don’t have a car.